My Geek Baby

I was watching “Slings and Arrows,” a TV show about a dysfunctional acting troupe in Canada trying to put on Hamlet. During a break two actors were waxing philosophical about themselves, their identities as people and one talked about his “roles” in life. The roles we play in life are many but we often stick with one we most closely want people to perceive us as rather than accept that we are not THESE THINGS. We simply play these roles in life. I have been a professional writer for more than 10 years and identify myself as such. But recently, with mamahood included in my list of roles, and with a new job opporunity as Managing Editor that I will have in a few weeks upon return from maternity leave, my need to hold on so tightly to my identity as writer is not necessary. Yes, I write, I always will. It’s a need I liken to running. I have to write like runners HAVE TO run. But I don’t have to identify myself as such.

A few years back my mom ran into an old friend who asked how I was doing. My mom told her that I was good, was married and lived in the DC area. I was shocked! Why didn’t she mention my job!? I have been a professional writer for as long as I have known Jake, but only been a married person for a short while. But now, such a thought shouldn’t bother me. I’m molting, like a butterfly, (or a moth, get it? “MOTH”ER) taking on new wings without completely changing from my original self. (Being a horrible punster is not new, just finely honed as a new parent) As moms and professional people, volunteers, musicians, and Scrabble addicts, we float from role to role, sometimes taking on two and three at a time. They’re not contradictions but if they were, does it matter?

In the beginning of the Deepak Chopra book, “The Third Jesus” he points out a good quote from a famous Indian philosopher, “The measure of enlightenment is how comfortable you feel with your own contradictions.” Well said, especially in an era were women may feel that mom and professional person are mutually exclusive.

Frankly, I think I’ve always been a mom, caring and worrying deeply about my friends and family. I was practically diapering my two cats before I became pregnant and picked up Miles so often, she now meows to be picked up like a toddler who wants “UPPEE.” But not until I gave birth does the outward appearance and baby accouterments (baby, stroller, overflowing diaper bag) does the world acknowledge and understand me in this new role.

Here’s an experiment. Google the words “Mom” and “Mother” and click on the Images link. See what I mean? Many different images.